roneal | (no subject)

"Eh, I'm a bit of a troublemaker."

Cringing, he bites down hard enough to draw a drop of blood from his lips. He can't talk about Aki. He can't lie either. Hell, he doesn't want to lie anymore. It's against the rules and if he starts breaking them right after coming to terms with wanting to follow them, then he's only making himself worthless again.

"I am," he spits out before he can convince himself to keep his mouth shut. "I don't know what to do when I meet, mh, people from my past." That could mean teachers as well as other kids living on the streets, or men he's slept with before. And Aki, but Jade mustn't know about him.

"Some of them don't know that I'm like this."

"I didn't think you were the type to care about what other people thought." And he doesn't think he's wrong either. Shinjirou speaks his mind; it's one of the things Jade enjoys about him.

Which means there's more to this. Someone he doesn't want to find out, perhaps? Of course, he could be wrong, so he doesn't push the point.

"Still, if it's such a big concern, I suppose I could continue keeping you locked up in here."

Normally, he isn't. With Aki it's different. Aki wouldn't approve. Aki would try his best to put an end to his self-destructive behavior. What's infinitely worse, Aki would be disappointed -- and besides, Aki is his brother, bloodlines be damned. Brothers don't need to know this kind of stuff about each other.

It worries Shinjirou enough that he considers taking Jade up on his offer to stay locked away. He really wants to play outside with Irvin, though. Do the grocery shopping so he can come up with new dishes. Pretend to be normal for an hour or two. He keeps shifting against Jade's chest as he thinks it through and eventually makes his decision.

"As long as I may leave in the morning and not the afternoon or evening ... if that's alright."

The long silence, accompanied by Shinjirou's constant shifting, only solidifies his suspicion that there's something more to this. Jade doesn't interrupt, however. He gives Shinjirou his time, curious as to what he'll wind up deciding on.

When Shinjirou lists out his conditions, Jade's lips twitch up into a smile despite his best efforts to suppress it. Shinjirou is being so obvious; he now basically has confirmation that he's trying to avoid someone. Someone with a short day job, which rules out his teachers and most likely the other streetrats. A student, then? Perhaps that boy he grew up in the orphanage with? He had thought they were close, but he hadn't known for sure.

Interesting. Very interesting.

He'll need more confirmation before he can act, so he simply files it away into his mind for now, nodding in response to Shinjirou's request. "I don't see why not."

He smiles playfully. "Any other demands?"

"It's not a demand!" His voice breaks away at the end, a coughing fit swallowing half of his words. That hurts. Rubbing his throat, he buries his face in Jade's hair. When he speaks again, it's only a faint whisper. "It was just a question."

Forehead touching Jade's neck, he worries for a moment: He might have made a mistake. Jade's been urging him to say more and now he seems almost ... content? He may be in pain, but he's sober and this isn't about being kinder to Jade's guests or anything. There's no reason for him to react like this.

On the other hand, Jade doesn't like it when he asks why. He can't do that. Instead, he pouts and hopes for the best. Maybe he's imagining things after all.

"Thank you."

"Relax, I was joking." He does want Shinjirou to take it easy for at least a day or two. His body (especially his throat, by the sounds of it) needs rest in order to recover, and Jade himself requires some time to come up with training scenarios.

He tries to remember when school usually starts. 8:30? He hadn't attended a regular school since he was twelve. "Are you heading out tomorrow? If so, how does nine to half past ten sound?"

"Not funny." Jade's humor is shit, he decides. He glares up at him for a brief moment before hiding away again. Holding his body up in a sitting position is becoming more and more exhausting with each passing minute.

Fiddling around with the chain, he nods. "Uh-huh, sounds good." Aki will be at school then, annoying the teachers and stuffing his face with protein shakes. Impossible to run into him. Aki doesn't do skipping classes. Relieved, Shinjirou leans back against Jade, putting his entire weight on him.

He can take Shinjirou's weight with no trouble, but that wouldn't be any fun now, would it? Jade allows himself to fall backwards, landing against the bed with a soft thump, Shinjirou squarely on top of him.

"Oh dear, I think my back gave out." He smiles serenely.

"Idiot." Pushing himself up, he purses his lips. "Just because I'm staying doesn't mean I don't think you're stupid."

And if he's truly free for the night, then it shouldn't matter that he's insulting Jade. That's the logic he's going with, anyway. Staring down at Jade, chain quietly slipping over Jade's shoulder, Shinjirou lowers himself again. His lips brush Jade's, then he presses a proper kiss onto them. "Whipping me exhausted you, huh."

Jade kisses back, chuckling quietly. "I am an old man."

But he's perfectly fine now. The mental strain is gone, locked away completely, and he has a new mystery to preoccupy himself with. Right now, Jade is more preoccupied with the sensation of having somebody else on top of him. He had expected Shinjirou to sputter and pull away, but perhaps his desire for contact trumps the oddness of the situation.

It's unexpected, but not...unpleasant. Jade doesn't entirely dislike it, at least, which is more than he had expected.

"But it's terribly sweet of you to worry. Thank you." He may look and sound perfectly polite, but his insincerity can be felt all the same.

"Should I call you grandpa from now on?" He tilts his head, wondering if he wouldn't just slip into calling Jade Sir again and turn the mocking into something Jade would find amusing instead -- and turn him into the one being mocked.

Shinjirou sticks his tongue out, then drops his head onto the pillow, lips ghosting over Jade's cheek. Yeah, he wants to be close. Needs the warmth, the ... safety. He's the real idiot in the end, he's well aware of that.

"You're welcome."

A few minutes of cuddling is fine. Jade can permit that. But as time passes and Shinjirou shows no signs leaving for his own bed, Jade has to take matters into his own hands. He has work, Shinjirou is heavy, and he can't simply spoil Shinjirou like this - it should be something hard-earned.

Wriggling out from underneath him would be too undignified, so Jade braces his hands against Shinjirou's hips instead (not too hard; he doesn't want to aggravate the bruises), and tries to flip them over.

It's not unexpected that Jade stops him at some point. While grumbling, he lets Jade's hands guide him. It hurts when his back hits the mattress and, wincing, he attempts to roll onto his side and take the pressure off the weals and cuts.

"I guess it's bedtime for me now, huh?" He's not tired, but his body needs some rest. Going to bed early sounds like a good idea. Still, he waits for confirmation.

"If you like." He pushes himself up as soon as Shinjirou tries to roll away, turning so his legs hang off the edge of the bed, feet flat on the floor. "Though I'd prefer it if you use your own bed."

"Don't worry, I will." His movements are sluggish and his posture is geared towards causing the least of pain. He slides off Jade's bed and crawls into his own, pulling the blanket up until it covers even his nose.

"Jade?" He only looks at him long enough to make sure he's got his attention, then turns towards the wall. "Thank you."

It looks like that much had been difficult for him to say. Jade decides to go easy on him.

"You're welcome," he says simply, then continues on his way. He still can't shake off the feeling that he had done Shinjirou a disservice, especially when he remembers the careful, gingerly way he moved. But the simple gratitude in Shinjirou's voice makes Jade think that something good may have come out of this.

That would be for the best. Jade knows they'll be doing this again; better for Shinjirou to enjoy it than not.

The next morning, he allows Shinjirou to sleep in for awhile. The clock is nearing 8:30 by the time he finally shakes Shinjirou awake.

"Do you still want to go out?" He asks, without bothering with a good morning.

This is already the second time that Jade has nearly given him a heart attack waking him up. And like before, Shinjirou shoots up -- though now he groans and buries his face in his hands at the pain flaring up on his back. Looking at Jade through his fingers, he blinks until the light doesn't sting in his eyes anymore.

"Go out?" Oh, yeah. He slips out of bed, sitting down right beside it. Ready to start his day outside the safe haven that is the futon. "Yes, I do!"

Actually, he can't wait to see Irvin again. Spend some time alone with the dog, without Jade working on figuring him out. There's nothing special about loving dogs, but who knows. Jade's mind isn't any less crooked than his own.

Jade has to smile at that burst of excitement. "Oh good," he says. "I was worried you wouldn't."

He straightens up properly again, secretly glad that Shinjirou hadn't slammed their foreheads together when he had woken. "I've picked out some clothes for you." He nods at his own bed, where a neat stack of clothes lay waiting: a button down shirt and some long pants. "You might need to roll up the pants, but they should fit. More or less."

At the sound of voices, Irvin pads over to the bedroom, ears pricked up inquisitively. Well-trained, he stops by the doorway, pacing restlessly and casting longing glances into the room.

Looking from Irvin to Jade, Shinjirou beats down the urge to run over and greet the dog. Later when they're alone, he won't need to behave. And so he gets up and walks over to Jade's bed to inspect the clothes. Definitely not what he likes to wear; it's not an outrageous choice either.

They don't fit perfectly, but well enough that he won't look strange. Glancing down, tugging on the shirt, he wonders where he could hide the chain. He doesn't think Jade has changed his mind in the meantime. "Feels like a uniform." Which reminds him of school and annoying best friends.

"Uhm, and do I get a coat?"

After all this time, it's almost strange to see Shinjirou clothed. He looks startlingly normal like that, collar and chain aside, although his hair could do with a trim.

Of course he looks that way. He had deliberately chosen the clothes to create that effect.

He raises an eyebrow, a gesture directed more at himself than Shinjirou. "To conceal the chain? I suppose I could find something. By the way, would you like a map of the area or would you prefer to explore?"

"Yeah, uh, the chain's kind of an eye-catcher, you know?" He can't stop pulling on the clothes. Apart from the slight ache when the fabric stretches over the collection of wounds from the past days, they simply aren't him.

"Won't need a map. I remember leaving that one morning." Time to greet Irvin and pretend his first encounter with Jade wasn't a night of intoxicated sex. He kneels down and scratches the dog behind his ears. "Hey, good morning. We're going for a walk, Irvin!"

"I bet there's a time limit." Not that he needs one. He'll definitely be back before school's out. "And a list."

"Ten-thirty," he confirms. "And I have the list outside, along with some money. I'll give you a watch too."

He had briefly considered telling Shinjirou that he's can use the change to treat himself, but decided against it. He's being too soft. Shinjirou is here to work, not to enjoy himself. True, rewards have their uses, but something as simple as a shopping trip doesn't merit one. Being able to go outside should be enough of a reward in itself anyway.

Turning, Jade rummages through his closet, and pulls out a dark jacket for Shinjirou. "Here."

He raises an eyebrow at the jacket, but slips into it anyway. There's little that differentiates him from a student in these clothes and he doesn't appreciate that at all. Complaining about it would give too much away, possibly, and maybe even keep him locked up. He's been looking forward to spending time outside and not naked for the first time in days. He's not going to risk it now.

Standing unnaturally upright instead of his usual slouch, thanks to his back hurting too much if he does the latter, he nods at Jade. "Thanks. I'll be back by then. Uhm." He returns to Irvin's side, giving the dog a quick pat on the head. "When I come back, should I, uh. You know, undress again or how's this going to work?"

He pauses for a moment, then nods. "Unless I say otherwise, keep yourself undressed. It's how other slaves are presented."

Not that it's much of a concern for him. Mostly, he's worried about Shinjirou's back. Shinjirou looks a bit uncomfortable in the clothes - lots of tugging, a bit of fidgeting - it makes Jade want to order him to keep them on for longer, but he resists.

"Now, are you ready? I have a leash for Irvin waiting outside as well. Everything you need should be on the table. You can take my shoes."

If Shinjirou doesn't run this time (and Jade doesn't think he will), they'll have to see about getting clothes for him that actually fit. It'd be a good opportunity to take him shopping for something else as well.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

It's odd. It's normal. Irvin follows him excitedly as he leads him outside and then howls when Shinjirou doesn't immediately start walking. Taking one step at a time, he moves at a pace far too slow for Irvin's liking at first. Just a few days and he needs to get used to this pseudo freedom. It's hard to believe he's still a slave; nothing about that has changed.

The collar's still around his neck, the chain pressed against his bare skin where he's hidden it away. Without a doubt the situation is the same. Yet he passes people, throws sticks for Irvin and buys everything on Jades list without anyone treating him any different than before.

He's more than a little out of kilter when he returns, almost perfectly on time, and stands in the hallway for a few minutes, dazed.